What happens when you ask fourth-graders to write down directions for changing baby diapers?

Turns out, quite a bit of humor and a surprising amount of wisdom.

The gist in Jared’s students’ essays was the same. Take off the old diaper, wipe the baby’s bum and put on a new diaper.

One student didn’t get too far into describing the steps, but her intro summed up the reason behind actually changing diapers nicely.

“If you want to (or more likely have to) change a diaper, here’s how and the various situations I have encountered,” she wrote.

“Well for beginners you always need wipes by you and another diaper,” one student began her directions.

Those wipes apparently come in handy when you “wipe the baby’s bottom to get off the gross stuff that I’m not naming,” according to another student.

One kid must think I can do two things at once, because he wrote: “You tear the diaper off and plug your nose at the same time.”

Keep plugging your nose until the baby’s bottom is wiped clean and the old diaper thrown away, he advised.

After changing the diaper, “go have fun with your baby until it makes another stinky explosion,” another student wrote.

There were some gems in the essays, too.

Not like this one: “Grab a roll of toilet paper wrap it around the baby butty and staple the toilet paper together.”

But like these:

“Softly wipe the baby’s toosh clean do not rub too hard or it might hurt the baby.”

Also be gentle with the tabs. “Be careful though because the strap can rip off pretty easily.”

I definitely heeded this one: “DO NOT throw it away in the garbage can in your house or else it will smell very, very BAD!”

The best piece of advice, though: “After that you put the dirty wipes back in the diaper and fold the diaper up and throw it away.”

Ah, Jared said in amazement. Did you know to do that? That sounds smart.

I didn’t know that – but am storing the nugget of wisdom for August.